Valentine’s day is associated with passionate love and romance, for couples struggling to conceive, it can be a source of stress and anxiety. There maybe pressure to live up to that idealised vision of love and romance and you might wonder, how can I feel romantic this Valentine’s day when we are up to our ears in ovulations kits, fertility medications etc.? Trying to conceive can be challenging and emotional experience, and it can take a toll even on the strongest of relationships. No matter where you are on your fertility journey, there are ways to enjoy Valentine’s day with your partner.
Here are 8 tips to help make Valentine’s Day a little more loveable while helping you have a stress-less day.
1 Make Sex fun!
Your sex life may be the first victim of trying to conceive. The first whispering of ‘ lets make a baby’ may have been a turn on but after months and years it can be the last thing you want to say or hear!! For one night remove the baby-making pressure, be present and in the moment, and do what feels good. Why not have some fun sex this Valentine’s Day and let your mind focus on having a good time and not getting pregnant.
2 Take a Break from the Fertility Discussion
Make a pact with your partner to not discuss fertility during your Valentine’s Day. Instead, focus on your role as partners and not future parents, and talk about things that attracted you to each other and what you appreciate about your partner. What made you fall in love in the first place? What did you enjoy doing together before you decided to start a family? What where your conversations like? Focus on the love between you and spend quality time together.
3 Communicate with your partner.
Each person may be experiencing or coping with infertility in a different way. Be supportive of each other and respect each other’s feelings. Express those feelings through compliments and gestures, like leaving love notes or sending racy text messages to each other. It may seem a small thing to do, but it is likely to have a big impact.
4 Have a date night.
Date night is a great way to reconnect with your partner and relive some stress!! Keep it light and have some fun! Whether you stay in with a takeaway and Netflix or plan a night out on the town, date night can be whatever you and your partner enjoy doing together. No matter the plan try and be present, in the moment and put effort into the activity so your partner can feel the love.
5 Take care of yourself.
Treat yourself to a little pampering. What do you love? Book a massage, go to a yoga class, read a good book or go see a movie. Look back to things you enjoyed doing when you first started dating.
6 Pretend that Cupid’s arrow is the syringe.
For those of you going through infertility treatment, let Valentine’s Day be a helpful reminder that beneath all the injections, ultrasound scans, office visits, and blood work, there is an “us” that can be so easily overlooked. The best gift you can give each other is support.
7 Remember to practice gratitude and share your love with others.
Even though you don’t have a baby yet, focus on the things you’re thankful for right now, you can find more things to love about the life you have.
8 Stop comparing to other couples.
Put down the mobile, and step away from social media pages. If you think everyone else is having a sexier, more romantic evening than you are, you’re wrong. Remember that people present idealised versions of themselves on social media.
Infertility can be a difficult journey, but taking the time to celebrate your love and reignite the spark with your partner can help to strengthen your relationship and bring joy to your lives.