I was scared. I was scared of trying again and I feared more failure.
Trying to conceive is an emotional roller coaster, filled with moments of excitement, joy, and hope – but all too often this journey can be met with uncertainty and fear. I had been stuck with fear. I allowed my past fertility experiences stop me from moving forward. The prospect of going through it again left me feeling overwhelmed and scared. After all, there are no guarantees (we’ve been through 5 failed rounds)!
But today is a special day. It represents a new chapter. It represents getting unstuck.
We have two frozen embryos, waiting for us and we are finally ready to embark on our final frozen embryo transfer. (O.K full disclosure this was decided at the end of October 2022. I genuinely believed that because my mind said it was ready then my body would follow. Boy was I wrong! Ill explain more about this next week).
No matter what happens along this process, I am optimistic about what lies ahead. I can find strength and resilience in knowing I am willing to give it one last shot!!!!!
Why am I sharing something so personal here?
Well, this time I don’t want to be alone on this journey. I want to connect with others who are going through similar experiences. I believe we can draw strength from our stories and experiences.
My goal is to prepare my mind, body, and soul so this Embryo implants and I get the joy of being pregnant and staying pregnant. I need to provide this embryo with the best version of me.
During this final journey, I am making a commitment to myself to:
- Be gentle with myself
- Give myself space to feel whatever emotions come up (fear, anxiety, hope)
- Recognise I don’t have all the answers and I am surrounded by people who can help
- Don’t bottle it all up and reach out for support (not like last time).
- Stay positive
- Be realistic with the process (things may not go the way I think it should)
- Get my mind, body and soul in the best possible shape for baby
- Celebrate small victories along the way
- Focus on what I can control
- Reduce my stress levels (this is easier said than done)
- Get out walking more
- Read more
- Practice yoga
- Be mindful
- Eat better- follow my 80/20 rule
I will write a personal blog and share here the ups and downs of this journey. I will be talking with fertility experts, exploring innovative treatments for fertility (such as Hyperbaric chamber!!), holistic treatments, nutrition and more.
Wish me luck and I would love for you to follow my journey on Instagram @deborahbrockfetjourney and I would love to connect and follow you. With focus, determination, strength, and a little bit of courage, we can get there together.