Mother’s Day can be an especially challenging and emotional time for women who are struggling to conceive. If you are undergoing fertility treatment or trying to conceive without success, you may already feel anxious as Mother’s Day approaches. While this day can be a painful reminder of your journey, here are some tips to help make the day a little gentler for you:
Acknowledge Your Emotions
Recognise and accept your feelings, whatever they may be. It’s normal to experience a range of emotions on a day that celebrates the role you’ve been striving for: sadness, anger, resentment, and jealousy are all common and valid. You don’t have to put on a brave face for others today. Share your feelings in your journal, with your partner, a friend, a therapist, or someone else who you think will understand.
Take Time for Self-Care
Accept that it’s a difficult day and indulge in some self-care, whatever that means for you. Treat yourself to a massage, a manicure/pedicure, a fitness class, or any activity that makes you feel good. In the days leading up to Mother’s Day, and on the day itself, surround yourself with supportive friends. Consider planning a special date night with your partner the Friday or Saturday before.
Set Boundaries for Yourself
If you’re feeling vulnerable, give yourself permission to decline plans that may be too difficult, such as attending a baby shower or a child’s birthday party. You may want (or need) to celebrate your own mother, but consider suggesting alternatives that will be easier for you. Instead of attending a busy brunch, suggest a more adult-oriented restaurant, a spa day, or host a gathering at your home.
Remember It’s Just Another Day
During my infertility journey, I began to remind myself that emotionally challenging days like Mother’s Day, other celebrations, or potential due dates were just another day. Wanting a baby didn’t change from day to day, so a celebration was no different. While it didn’t make every day easier, this mindset helped take the edge off days like Mother’s Day.
Connect with Others in the Infertility Community
You are not alone in your struggle. If you are part of a support group, either online or in person, lean on and support others who are experiencing similar challenges. If you haven’t yet connected with the infertility community, consider doing so as a gift to yourself. Search for your local Resolve charity, ask your clinic for support group recommendations, or look for groups on social media.
To all the women out there who are struggling to become moms, celebrate and honor yourself for the steps you’ve taken on your journey and those you will continue to take.